Manners: I sure wish more people used them!

This is a pet peeve post, so skip it if you aren't in the mood.

A few thoughts on manners, and why they are important.

Poor phone manners.  People!  When you call a residence, the ONLY acceptable way to greet the person answering the phone is by identifying yourself!  "Hi, this is Julie.  May I please speak to Bob."  I was taught this by my mother, and the practice was strictly enforced.  We were not allowed to call someone and say "Is Frances there?"  No way.  My kids were not allowed to use the phone until they learned this basic social skill and it really irks me when an adult does this.  Seriously.

Likewise, when you call a business, identify yourself and who you need to talk to. Simple.  The receptionist's job is to route you to the right person. For that she needs two key pieces of info:  your name and either the name of the person you want to talk to or the nature of your call.  That is it.  Don't just start talking about your problems, or spill your guts to the receptionist.  She has multiple lines to catch and most of the time she can't help you anyway.

Poor conversational skills.   I rarely start a conversation without first asking the other party "how are you?" or something similar depending on familiarity.  For example, I might ask after your kids if we've ever spoken about them or your sick dog if you had posted on Facebook that your dog was unwell.  The point being, to me good manners means showing interest in the other person you with whom I am interacting.  And I expect this courtesy in return:  at the very least, an interest in my day (I don't expect anyone to stalk me on Facebook).  Many people feel that "how are you" is a rote, meaningless question.  I disagree.  It greases the wheel, people.  Part of being a participant in society is extending the courtesies that make things roll.  Do I really want to know a whole lot about your life when I ask "how are you"?  Probably not.  But it is nice to know if you're having a bad day.  I might approach whatever we are going to discuss differently.  If your day is really stinking it up, I'm going to take that into account.  It may only mean that I tell you "I'm sorry, but I am not going to make it better," but still I am going to acknowledge it.

Poor Table Manners.  A very wise friend recently repeated to me her mother's philosophy on parenting:  We raise our kids for other people.

This is so, so true:  we teach our children manners and how to act so the rest of the world can tolerate them.

Teach your kids how to sit at a dinner table in a private home and eat without being an animal.  Utensils are not for show.  Napkins are your friend. I've had kids at my dinner table who didn't know not to reach over someone else's plate, to ask for an item to be passed to them, etc. Chew with your mouth closed!  If you don't like the convention of having a child ask to be excused from the table, that's fine.  But you should make sure they understand some homes expect it and how to watch and learn when eating at someone else's home.  And a  thank you at the end of dinner would be nice!  Also, kids should be taught how to order in a restaurant, how to not be a jerk to the waitstaff, what to do with your napkin, etc.  One day, your precious snowflake will have to venture forth without you, and if they don't know how to eat like a civilized adult, YOU FAILED AS A PARENT.

Poor Communication Skills.   This is a biggie for me.  If I haven't gotten a document to you, or responded to your email there's two ways to approach it.  One way is to be blunt.  "Why haven't you ....."  This assumes intentional conduct on my part and implies I am lousy at my job.  Alternatively, you can employ a little social convention I call giving the other guy a face saving opportunity.  This costs me nothing, and will most likely garner me some positivity from the recipient.  "Did you see my email?  I'm resending it, in case you missed it."  Something like that goes a long way with me.  Most of the time that gets a flat out admission from me that I forgot, have been slammed, etc. But the blunt approach gets off with me the wrong way every time.

THE BASICS: Please/Thank you/Excuse Me.  It galls me to have to include these, but there it is.  In my opinion, the worst offenders on this issue are adults.  When an adult doesn't use please/thank you/excuse me, I judge them.  Period, full stop.  Ask my kids, I say please and thank you in the drive through.  I'm shocked other people don't.  Kids are learners.  They get a pass;  the adult with them does not.  Every encounter is a learning experience for a kid and a teaching opportunity for the parent.  Do your job making your children tolerable for the rest of us.

All of this is to say that I am a big believer in the little courtesies.  Good manners on the phone, good conversational skills, nice table manners and above all, the basics.  All of these things keep the wheel moving, and make life more pleasant.  This is especially so for the part of life where we have to work.  Work is work:  I don't care how much you love it, it is still work.  I really appreciate the people I deal with who make the effort to make work a little more pleasant.  So little effort involved, such a huge payoff.

There is a segment of society that has embraced dropping the courtesies in favor of being "blunt."  Look, I'm happy for you if you have decided to take blunt to a new level.  Rock on with that.  But frankly, I think it just makes you look like an ass.  So stop already, no one is impressed with how hard you are bringing it.  No one.

So these are my thoughts for Friday.  I hope everyone out there has a great weekend!

Julie

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Copyright 2012 Julie Ann Sombathy All Rights Reserved

Thoughts on Billing: E-Mails are Conversations

Abe Lincoln said "A lawyer's time and advice are his stock in trade."   


This concept is not any more complex than that:  my time and my knowledge are what I have to sell you, that's my "inventory."  


I've recently had a client communicate with me almost entirely in emails, over the course of several months.  Long emails.  Emails with attachments.  Emails to my assistant marked for me.  I've also had long phone conversations with this client, written letters for this client, etc.  Now, said client feels that reading and replying to those emails should not have been invoiced.  


If I represent you and we have a conversation about your case, you will eventually get a bill for that conversation.  What's a conversation?  A phone call, email, text messages, or an actual IRL face to face chat.  All of these are billable.  If you send me an email, that is like calling me or sitting in my office and talking to me.  The only difference is that you chose to send an email because it was more convenient for you, or it just seemed like the thing to do at the time.  Sending my assistant emails for me to read count as well.  Sending emails to "be put in my file" count too.  Why? Because down the road, you'll blame me if I don't know what was in that email and it won't matter to you that you didn't want to pay me to read it way back when. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.  Nothing goes in my file unless I have read it.  Period, full stop.


There are firms out there that churn their files, having several attorneys working the case, all of them reading everything and billing the bejeezus out of the client.  That's not my style.  But, I do expect to be paid for my time, ALL of it.  Would anyone really respect me if I didn't?  


Julie


NB:  Obviously, this post does not address all of the many facets
of billing on an hourly basis, or pro bono work, or when the time
clock gets turned on and off in a conversation. It also doesn't address 
engagement letters and such.  This is a rant, on a specific incident, not 
a treatise on billing.  


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Copyright 2012 Julie Ann Sombathy All Rights Reserved

Having It All

"Having it all"

Man, that phrase annoys me to no end.  No one can have it all.  Dads who work and are the primary earner trade off on the experience of being the primary caregiver.  Always have, even when most moms were SAHM's.  SAHM's trade off the experience of being the primary earner.  The modern paradigm is a two earner household.  Mom and Dad are both making trade offs between their "traditional" roles, careers, child care, family, personal fulfillment, etc.

News flash:  That is just life.  We all make compromises.  Life involves making choices:  deciding how you are going to live, whether or not to have children, how to raise your children, make a living, worship... the list is endless.    You make your choices, those choices drive other choices, and so on and so forth.  You make your way through the maze.  Where you end up is not always determined by the first choice you made, but sometimes it is. Maybe you hit a dead end, turn around and try again.  Maybe you stay there, endlessly trying to walk through a brick wall.  Maybe you hit to sweet spot, take just the right turn, and get the golden exit (dying asleep in your bed with all your wits at a ripe old age with no regrets).

One thing is for certain:   you can't take every turn, you can't end up at every exit.

Obviously, there's much more at play on the "having it all" discourse, particularly from the woman's perspective.  Moreover, some people's choices are limited by their circumstance.  That's a whole other topic.  The point remains, nevertheless, that everyone makes choices and choices necessarily involve trade offs.  The real stinker here is that we women bought in to the concept that we can "have it all."  My sister in law likes to say "they told us we could have it all, they just didn't tell us no one would share it."  I think that's the real underlying issue:  the distribution of responsibilities, not having it all.  The overarching issue is the definition of "it all." Is it having the full caregiver role which is foisted on women (whether they want it or not) plus a career?  Why can't it be something different, and you know, realistic?


Everyone needs to quit trying to fit the square peg that is modern life into the round hole by which "it all" continues to be defined.


Julie


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Copyright 2012 Julie Ann Sombathy All Rights Reserved

A Travelogue

Pool View Room, Hard Rock Hotel, Orlando

We just took a vacation to Orlando. We stayed at the Hard Rock Hotel. We went to Islands of Adventure, City Walk, & Universal Studios Park. We ate way too much, walked about a thousand miles, and had a blast.

Why the Hard Rock? It is our favorite of the three Universal properties. The rooms are very nice, and the staff is friendly and competent. When there's a problem, they get right on it and make it better. And I do mean friendly, not pleasant or merely courteous. From the valet to the engineer coming in to check an outlet to the bellman on your way to check out, the staff is engaged, friendly and helpful. I cannot recommend the Hard Rock more.


In addition to the staff and great rooms, the pool is killer. They have a great slide. You can hear the music underwater. There's live entertainment. The poolside restaurant and bar is great. Here again, the service was great. They even do a movie poolside on some nights. Fun for everyone.

Hard Rock Orlando Lanyard

Another perk to staying at a Universal resort is the automatic Fast Pass. Your room key used to serve as your fast pass, but now you use the key to print a separate pass. The upside is that the fast pass line is even quicker now (Universal instituted this policy because room keys were being misused). The wait to make the pass was just a couple of minutes and it was easy. I would do it right away, not in the morning when you are ready to go to the parks. The only downside is that the tickets are paper, and degrade quickly in water. We finally broke down and bought a lanyard with a plastic pouch for carrying the passes. There's even some lanyards that come with a sealable pouch.

If you stay at a Universal Resort, you also get in both parks an hour early. At Islands of Adventure, Harry Potter world is open. We got into Ollivander's Wand Shop in under 20 minutes, and then practically walked on the ride in Hogwart's. The wand show can have waits of up to 3 hours, so doing it first is the only way to fly.

We go for the wet rides at Islands of Adventure, so we wear our suits with cover ups & t-shirts. I usually end up with a tote of some kind with dry shirts, etc. It is so hot though that we dried off quickly. Word to the wise: the stuff you carry will expand to fill the space available. Choose your tote wisely.  By the last day, I was carrying a clutch sized cross body bag and telling everyone to carry their own freight.



Two things I discovered this trip: a sunscreen and a makeup product. The sunscreen is by Banana Boat. The SPF is 85, and it works. Don't believe the can, it is greasy as can be. But it works.  No sunburn.

 The makeup is a Beauty Balm by Smashbox. The SPF is 35 and it works. This is one of those BB Creams that is 5 in 1. I was not loving it until this trip, but I am now a true believer. I went all day and half the night taking several waves of water to the face and my makeup was still there at the end of the day. Good stuff.

The Hulk, Islands of Adventure
Universal Studios, Orlando

New rides: I got shamed into riding Dragon Challenge, and it was every nightmare I've ever had or imagined rolled into one upside down twisted experience. I don't recommend it.  I also tried out The Hulk, which was awesome.




Hope everyone has safe and wonderful travels this summer!



Julie

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Copyright 2012 Julie Ann Sombathy All Rights Reserved

Jessica Simpson Platforms for Hump Day

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Christie's shoe game is fierce today

How I Do It "ALL"

At least once a month, I hear some variation of the following: 

 "You're a wife, a mother, a lawyer, you own your own business.....I just don't know how you do it. How do you do it all?"

This question, depending on whatever outside factors are at play, rarely fails to incite a towering rage within;  sometimes, I even feel the need to punch the speaker in their stupid pie hole.  I know most people are in their way, probably attempting to compliment me;  nevertheless, my inner dialogue when this conversation takes place goes something like this:  

"Wow, I've never been asked THAT before.  I bet Bob* has never once been asked "You're a husband, a father, a lawyer, and you hold down a full time job with immense responsibility to your community to put murderers in prison.  How do you do it all?"  NOT ONE TIME HAS HE BEEN ASKED THIS INSULTING QUESTION.  NOT ONE TIME."

*My long suffering, saintly husband, awesome father to my

two children, grill master, and bad ass attorney extraordinaire.

Where does the notion that I, as a woman, am less able than a man to handle the same responsibilities of an adult with a job and children?  Is it because men are not expected to be the primary child rearing parent?  Or because I am, based on my gender alone, supposed to be the more "involved" parent.  What a slap in both our faces.  In one fell swoop, the speaker has insulted both me and my husband.  

And in that question there is this implication that I am somehow NOT prioritizing things correctly.  Perhaps that is my personal issue:  some lingering guilt over not staying at home and cutting the crusts off their sandwiches and putting little inspirational notes in their pack lunches....  Then I remember, that's not me.  That's this idealized mother that some advertising guy in the 50's came up with and the collective swallowed up hook, line and sinker.  

My mother was and remains a phenomenal mother.  She cooked, she cleaned, she even worked part time.  Our family was the focus of her world, and I don't think she regrets a minute of it. Our home was spotless, always. She packed our lunches in little brown bags, or in our chosen lunch box of the school year.  I never ironed a shirt.  Our clothes were hanging in our closet ironed.  I still marvel over this one to this day.  A girl on the hall in my dorm had to teach me how to iron a pair of pants (thank you Betsy!).  But even though I did not know how to run the washer and dryer until the day I left for college (we had a 5 minute tutorial in front of the w/d right before I drove off), my brother and I were not cosseted.  We didn't leave the nest unique little snowflakes harboring a sense of entitlement due to the sheer fact of our existence.  

My mother did it all, but she did it her way.  And really, in the mommy wars, the woman who does it her way and tells everyone else to bugger off is the winner.

I'm not my mother.  I don't cook that much because I do not enjoy it in the least.  When I do cook something elaborate for them, I like to think my kids know how much I love them because they sure know how much I do not enjoy cooking.  I'll pack their lunch, if they ask nicely and remind me several times.  Advance notice is required.  I even recently cut crusts off of a PB&J for my son (extenuating circumstances there of an orthodontic nature).  I really hate laundry.  I only iron in the most dire of circumstances.  My house isn't a health code violation, mainly because we choose to have a wonderful person come in and do that for us on a regular basis.  My ladies at work know my kids well because sometimes they have to go pick them up and take them places for me.  Or, my kids come to my office with me for whatever reason.   I drive my son crazy getting him places on time (there's two sides to that story....he's light on advance notice and details) and I am constantly having to get things done at the last minute.  Nevertheless, somehow, Bob and I manage to take care of our kids and so far, I think we are doing a decent job of turning out some quality human beings.  

I work.  Probably not as hard or as efficiently as I should, but there it is.  I own my own business.    I am responsible to four other people and their families every other Monday to make payroll.  My career is stressful, adversarial as hell, time consuming.  Often it comes home with me at nights and on the weekend.  I'm cranky.  A lot.  But, I chose this career and I am in it for the long haul. Some days, I even love it.  It is who I am and it is part of what makes me the mother I am to my kids.  Good and bad.  

So, back to that infuriating question.  It irks me because it implies that I've taken on more than I can handle, or that I have somehow shortchanged my designated roles as mother and wife for a career.  The short answer to the question is that I don't do it all.  At least, not the "all" that the question implies.  

To all my sisters in arms out there, just keep doing it your way. If we start defining that "all" differently, maybe our daughters won't get asked the same thing.

With that rant complete, I've got to jet.  My house is a wreck, and Ms. Sharon will just turn around and leave if I don't get it ready for her.    

Have a great weekend everyone.

Julie

My Website

Copyright 2012 Julie Ann Sombathy All Rights Reserved

Statutory Interest: A New Model for Florida

Prior to October 1, 2011, statutory interest was announced once a year by the Chief Financial Officer.  Go to this page to check the current statutory interest rate.  Beginning October 1, 2011, statutory interest will be announced once a quarter.  Because of the ways in which statutory interest rates are used by the courts, this has led to some confusion in one area:  prejudgment interest.

Prejudgment interest is an element of damages awarded primarily in contract cases.  The point of contract damages is to put the injured party where they would have been had the breaching party fulfilled their end of the contract.  The simplest example would be a promise to pay money:  the damages on breaking that promise is the sum not paid.  But to truly make the injured party whole, interest on that sum from the time the money should have been paid to the time of judgment is calculated by the court using the statutory interest rate in effect when the money should have been paid (the date of loss), and added to the judgment amount.  Then, the total judgment amount accrues interest at the statutory rate in effect when the judgment is entered until the judgment is paid.  So, in practice, one interest rate from say, 2008, would apply for prejudgment interest and another from a later year would apply for judgment interest.

Starting with October 2011, statutory interest will be announced every quarter, and judgment interest will be adjusted annually.  This will affect judgment interest in two ways.  First, the quarterly statement in effect when the judgment is entered will apply.  Thereafter, on January 1st of every year, the judgment interest will change.  Really not that big of a deal.

As to prejudgment interest, for any date of loss prior to October 1, 2011, the court will look to the annual statement of statutory interest for the year in which the loss occurred.  If the date of loss is after October 1, 2011, prejudgment interest should be determined by looking to the quarterly statement of interest within which the date of loss falls.  Nothing in the statutory language suggests that prejudgment interest should be adjusted annually.

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Copyright 2012 Julie Ann Sombathy All Rights Reserved

Florida Homestead Law: From the Beginning

Besides the sugar white sands, emerald waters and a population that has a rather inexplicable obsession with monkeys, one of the perks to living in Florida is our homestead law.   In order to understand how homestead works, it is easiest to look at the law in the context of how it began. First, you have to know what it is, though.

Homestead protection is available to any real property owned by an individual that is their place of abode (and if temporarily absent, where they intend to return).  Inside the city limits, an individual may homestead up to a half acre of contiguous property.  Outside city limits, up to 160 acres of contiguous property may be homesteaded.   That's pretty much it:  the property has to be within the size limitations stated above, and it has to be where you live.   Without doing anything else, it is your homestead.  There's no form to fill out or registration to make, it just is. In order to get the full benefit of the homestead laws, you do have to take some action (which I will address later on in this post).

So, to the background.  Florida homestead law is thought to derive from the influence of Spanish colonial laws and the Civil War.  Context is everything right?  A little state history: Spain ceded ownership of Florida to the USA in 1819.  Florida became a state in 1845.  Florida, to our great shame, was a slave holding state.  In 1861, Florida seceded from the Union. During the Civil War, Florida was a supplier of salt, cattle, and men to the Confederacy. There were battles fought in Florida. Men went to war, and some of them never returned. At the time, there was no homestead law. The displacement of widows and children by creditors or family members must have been massive. Survival in the 1860's without the support of a husband was a major obstacle for any woman, whether or not she was also a mother.

Florida was readmitted to the Union in 1868 with a new constitution, usually referred to as the "Reconstruction Charter."  It was in this version of the Florida Constitution that the first homestead provisions appeared at Article IX.  The law protected the homestead from "forced sale" both during a man's life and even after his death.  The law also prohibited the "alienation" of the homestead by deed or mortgage without the wife's consent.  This consent provision was crucial.  Lastly, the law provided that the homestead descended to the wife and/or minor children and prevented the husband from deviating from this distribution by alternate devise in his Will.  In case it is bothering you, the gender specific terms used in this post are intentional.

Why was the consent provision so crucial and why was it so hard for a widow?  At the time the Reconstruction Charter was adopted, Florida did not have a Married Women's Property Act.  As hard as it is to fathom today, 150 years ago all of a woman's belongings (as well as the woman herself) became the property of her husband upon marriage.  A married woman could not own property:  chattel can't own chattel.  If not for the social stigma then attached to single parenting or "spinsterhood" I have to think many women would have given a hearty "NO THANKS" to any marriage proposals.  Florida was the last of four states to enact a Married Women's Property Act in 1943, almost 100 years after the first one was enacted.  Shameful, but not shocking.  Florida as a state has not been exactly "forward thinking" on women's rights.  Consider that Florida was dead last in ratification of the 19th Amendment to the US Constitution (women's right to vote), a full FIFTY YEARS after the amendment was passed into law.  Way to go, Florida legislature.  I procrastinate, but dang, that takes the cake and the candles.

So, the homestead law was therefore very important to a widow and her children, protecting them from creditors of the husband as well as the husband during the husband's life.  The law also protected the widow and children from the husband's Will, or his family, or his creditors after his death.  

The law remained pretty much unchanged until the Great Depression.  Many Floridians lost their homes within the first few years of the Great Depression because they could not pay their ad valorem (real estate) taxes.  So, the constitution was amended to add an ad valorem tax exemption for homesteads.  Originally, the exempt amount was $5,000 of the fair market value.  In order to get the benefit of the ad valorem tax exemption, you have to declare your homestead.  Your local Property Appraiser's office can clue you in on the specifics.  Here's a link to the contact info for all property appraisers in Florida by county.   Here's a link to the State's information page on homestead.  Here's a link to the current Homestead constitutional provision (Article X, Section 4).  

One misconception about homestead law is that it makes your homestead inviolate.  Not so.  If you apply for Medicaid assistance, only the first $500,000 in equity is exempt.  If you instruct the Personal Representative of your estate to sell your homestead in your will, then it loses homestead protection.  The IRS can always wade in and take it on a federal lien (Federal law trumps state law), a materialman can foreclose a Claim of Lien under the Construction Lien Law, a mortgage holder (if they've gotten the appropriate spousal consent) can foreclose their mortgage, and you can lose your homestead through a tax deed if you don't pay your ad valorem taxes.  There's also a chance of losing your homestead status in Bankruptcy if the court perceives that you haven't played by the rules.

In addition, just because property is your homestead, that doesn't mean that judgments or liens against you won't be sitting there to ruin your day.  If judgments are recorded against you and you try to refinance or sell your homestead, a title company will not insure the title unless the judgments or liens are satisfied, released, or you go through a process to formally declare the property your homestead.  To do this, you have to file a declaration with the clerk of court who then mails notice to all lienholders.  A waiting period occurs and if there are no responses, you are done.  If a lienholder objects, they have to file a declaratory judgment action to determine the issue.  Objections are rare:  your property either is your homestead or it isn't.  Here's a link to the statute for removing liens before levy, which contains the basic form of the pleadings.  If a judgment holder is trying to levy against your homestead, the process  for removing liens after levy is different.

So, there it is.  Enjoy, especially the ladies.  We have a way to go, for sure;   but  I am never so happy to be living in this day and age than when I look at these old laws.

Julie

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Copyright 2012 All Rights Reserved Julie Ann Sombathy

Sandals on Friday (and one bag)

Tommy Hilfiger Bag;  Target Sandals

Due to an ear infection, I haven't been sporting many high heels.  I'm strictly flats and kittens for the foreseeable future.  Hopefully I can get back into the skyscrapers by mid-June.  I miss them.  I do love some of my flat sandals, though and as of May 1st, it is officially hot as Hades in Panama City so no worries.


I have been wearing these sandals from Target regularly.  They are comfortable, cost less than $20 and they're animal print;  therefore, they match everything.  I also picked up a new bag in TJMaxx (above).  This bag reminds me of Memorial Day, Independence Day and picnics.  Never a bad thing.



These sandals are also from Target and cost under $20.  I like the two toned blue color.  Very money.
Also from Target for little feet, I have been loving these sandals, which are so cute and they were about $13.  I love the combination of the brown leather and the pop of color.  Frances has decided she really likes that dayglo yellow color.

Bridesmaids on top, Bride on the bottom
by Steve Madden

Last but not least, I'm still digging my Steve Madden Brides, which I got on clearance late last summer for about $30. Yes, that makes me love them more.  I love the Bridesmaids too, but Brides are my faves.

Happy Weekend!

Julie

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Copyright 2012 All Rights Reserved Julie Ann Sombathy

This Isn't a Birthday Blog

I would apologize for the birthday posts, but I'm not sorry! I'm over the birthdays for a month or so, but in June, look out there will be a couple more.   Deal with it.

Anyway, I am working on a big multi-part post about shoes, copyright infringement, and more shoes....so stay tuned.  Legal stuff is on the way.

Happy Birthday to My Old Man

Today is my husband's birthday. So, this weekend is All About Bob.

Tonight we are having Veal Parm and Boston Cream Pie (his favorites). The veal has been soaking since last night and the custard is in the fridge cooling down.

Tonight is for family, per Bob's request, so after dinner we are playing Clue, Connect Four, and maybe Risk (if we can stay awake long enough for someone to complete world domination).  Hopefully my Mom will let up a little on the kids and let them win Connect Four (she's a vicious competitor).

The Beast (it grills 45 burgers at one time!)

Bob and his beloved father
Graduation, Spring Hill College 1989

Tomorrow night  is all about friends and cards.  There will be copious amounts of deer sausage on the new giant grill, cupcakes and Jack Daniels.  

If you know Bob, head over to Facebook and give him some love and then hit this LINK and vote for him for Best of Bay under the Attorney heading (third up from the bottom left).  Being nominated for Best of Bay is more special than usual for him since he has not been in private practice now for almost a year, and as I told him when I found out he was nominated, I didn't do it! 

If you don't know Bob, you should;  he's that kind of awesome.

Toys for Kids Ball 2011

Happy Birthday, Honey!


Cheers to All,

Julie

My Website

Happy Birthday to My Dad

Pop in the middle with his dog, Mike and brother, Paul.
He looks ready to throw down.

Today is my father, Tom Nolan's, 70th birthday.  I thought all day yesterday about my dad, and the things I've learned from him. I wish I could write an elegant, witty post to share with the world what an outstanding person I have for a father.  But, the words won't come so I think I'll share my Top 5 Favorite Sayings courtesy of Pop:

5.  Upon the lighting of  the candles on any one's birthday cake: "Boy, Mickey Lockwood would've loved this cake."  Mickey Lockwood is some kid Pop grew up with who would eat the candles off of a birthday cake.  I've been hearing this one since I can remember, and it never gets old.

4.  "It'll feel better when it quits hurting."  

3.  "Right of way don't mean sh*t when you're dead."  This was stated rather loudly while teaching me to drive and is a corollary to the law of gross tonnage.

2.  "I searched the world over, and thought I found true love.  You met another and thwpp you was gone.  Leave a message after the beep."  No, he didn't write the song (from the show Hee Haw, no less) but he sings it as the outgoing message on his voicemail.  That has always been my parents' message, since their first answering machine.  They've had all kinds of hilarious messages left, including one from animal control in which the singing dog catcher let them know their dog George didn't have rabies.  Top that.

And last, but not least,

1.  "Don't call me Pop!"  This, on his 50th birthday.  Of course, it stuck and twenty years later even the girls in my office all call him Pop.

Happy Birthday, Pop.  

Love,

Julie

These shoes by Louboutin for men are awesome sauce

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Jurors Misbehaving!

Jurors misbehaving is a popular topic lately, and for good reason.  Whether the misbehaving juror is deliberately trying to get released from duty, or is just a self-involved jerk, their actions are inconsiderate and disrespectful to everyone else involved in the judicial system, from the litigants to the clerks at the courthouse.

There's this guy who sent a friend request to the defendant in a civil case in order to get disqualified.  How do we know that his goal was to get dismissed?  He bragged about it on Facebook.  That worked out really well for him.  What a bonehead.

Then there's this lady, Juror #15, who posted on Facebook about the sex abuse trial of the local wrestling coach.  I've got to think that this was a pretty well covered trial, with lots of local interest.  She even name dropped the defendant's attorney.  Another attorney's wife was friends with Juror #15, and that's how the defense found out about her posts.  How could she have thought her posts would not get back to the defendant or the court?  The judge had admonished the jury in this trial not to post on social media about the case, but Juror #15 did it anyway.  She's either incredibly obtuse, or she did it on purpose to get dismissed.  Either way, she is a jerk in my book.

Then there's this genius, the jury foreman for crying out loud!  Dude, do you really think that your friends care that much where you are today?  Did you miss the part of the judge's instructions about not talking or discussing the case with anyone?  How did you think it was okay to post about "boring" cell phone evidence during the trial?  The gall. 

And last, but certainly not least, this wannabe actress who went to extreme ends to avoid jury duty.  Then she bragged about it on the radio.  What a gem.

If you have ever been in the courtroom when the judge admonishes the jury (usually every time they leave the courtroom), the instructions given are simple and easy to understand.  I'm quite sure my 9 year old would totally understand the instructions.  And given the repetition, there's no chance that a juror simply did not hear them all.

Each of these people put an entire trial in jeopardy.  First and foremost, their selfish behavior jeopardized some defendants' constitutional rights.  Moreover, it costs money to call a potential pool of jurors.  In a week with several trials scheduled, the clerk in my county might call 200 people. Did these idiots think about all of those other people who were also called for jury duty and who missed a day of work, made other arrangements for their kids, etc.? And did they think about their fellow jurors, who have missed work, family events, and put their lives on hold to serve on the jury?  That's not to mention the costs to the participants of getting ready for trial (half of which has to be redone if the trial doesn't go as scheduled).    Or the experts flown in at huge expense. Did they think about any of this when they just couldn't resist posting a status update on Facebook?

Serving as a juror is one of the few civic duties a regular person gets to perform these days.  As a people, we have clearly forgotten the importance of juror service in our country.  There's a reason the court makes everyone stand when the jury enters and leaves the courtroom.  The right to be judged by an impartial jury is one of the cornerstones of our judicial system (Sixth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution). This particular type of juror misconduct is so lazy and self-involved, it is a huge insult to the rest of us and indicative of the "let someone else do the hard work" attitude so prevalent in our society today.  For shame.

Show a little respect.


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It is that time of the night...

And this guy supposedly has no computer, phone, or email...

I didn't know Flim-Flam was an actual crime!!!!

Great minds and all that....

Florida Law How To: Transferring Title to a Car after the Owner Dies

Many times, I have clients come to see me after the death of a loved one, and the only asset remaining to be retitled is the decedent's car.  Amazingly, Florida law has simplified the process of transferring title to a vehicle after the death of the owner.  It is so easy, I rarely ever have to probate a car.  Here's how it works:

If your name was also on the title, you need to take a certified copy of the death certificate and the title to the tax collector’s office and they will help you remove the decedent's name from the title.

If the decedent's name was on the title alone, and he or she left a Will, and the Will leaves all personal property to you, leaves the car specifically to you, or simply leaves everything to you (“all of the rest, residue and remainder” or similar wording) take the original title, original Will and a certified copy of the death certificate to the tax collector’s office and they will help you change the title. If the Will has already been deposited with the Clerk of Court, take a certified copy of the Will.  Just go to the courthouse and ask for the probate clerk and he or she will be able to make you one.

The most common scenario for transferring title to a car is when a spouse dies;  however, if any other family member left a vehicle to you in their Will, you should be able to do the same thing. If the Will left the car to more than one person like several siblings then everyone must sign off on the title change.Be patient, you might have to make more than one trip to the tax collector’s office to get this done.  Be nice to the clerks at the courthouse and the tax collector's office, they can help you or they can make the process pure misery.

Pro Tips:

Call ahead to make sure you have the required paperwork and are going to the correct location. Also scout out wait time, or the best time to go. In my city, it is best to be waiting in the line at 7:45 a.m. (15 minutes before they open!) to avoid a really long wait.

Redacted Certified Copy
Death Certificate

In Florida, an original certified copy of a death certificate is printed in color and has a raised seal.  You can use a long or short form (with or without the cause of death) for most purposes except life insurance benefit packages. You can get certified copies of the death certificate through the funeral home (the funeral director will advise you on how many copies to order) or if you did not order sufficient copies, the Health Department.

A certified copy of the Will is obtained from the probate clerk at the courthouse where the Will was filed.  A certified copy usually involves a red stamp, sometimes a raised seal, and ALWAYS an original signature of a deputy clerk.  Each courthouse is different, so call ahead to make sure you have the correct form of payment (Cash is NOT always accepted).



Julie

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Copyright Julie Ann Sombathy 2012 All Rights Reserved

U.S. v. Jones Update

In January, I told you about the major U.S. Supreme Court ruling in U.S. v. Jones regarding the use of warrantless GPS tracking devices by the FBI.  Read more about that here.

On Friday, FBI General Counsel Andrew Weissmann made some comments at a conference on communications privacy regarding the "sea change" which has occurred as a consequence of  the Jones ruling within the FBI.  Immediately after the ruling, the FBI turned off around 3,000 GPS tracking devices, that were in use.  Collection of the devices has proved problematic in some cases, and the FBI has sought court orders allowing them to turn the GPS tracker on briefly to locate the device and retrieve it.

In addition, Mr. Weissmann alluded to the renewed examination within the agency of what constitutes a trespass, and not a legal warrantless search.  Using the most common example there is, Mr. Weissmann indicated that there is now some doubt as to whether the traditional "trash pull" is even legal without a warrant.

We do indeed live in interesting times.

Julie

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Copyright 2012 Julie Ann Sombathy All Rights Reserved

Bar association oyster shuck

Steve Madden boots

Gasparilla, DSW, and The Ones That Got Away

Marriott Channel side View from Our Room
This was Friday Night, before the Invasion
View looking toward the Convention Center

I went to Tampa a couple of weeks ago on our yearly trip to Gasparilla with my best girlfriends, Kim, Lisa, and Beth. I really like Tampa:  if you ever get the chance, Tampa is a great city to visit.  There's lots to do, places to go, and who doesn't love a giant city-wide party where it is okay to dress up like a pirate?   

Invasion of Tampa Bay 2012

Rough Riders leaving EARLY in the morning
around 8:00 a.m., cannons blasting away! 

This year we stayed at the Marriott Channelside.   This hotel is awesome sauce.  The rooms are spacious, the service is spot on, the decor is gorgeous.  And the view channelside is fantastic.  For Gasparilla, the Marriott Channelside is great for seeing the ships leave port Saturday morning and return at noon for the invasion.  The hotel is also located within walking distance of the parade stands.  

Parade view from the stands

Gasparilla was great.  The parade was really fun, and we took home a huge load of beads.  We had tickets this year to sit in the stands, which I highly recommend.  We all had a little PTSD near the end though, since we were in constant defensive mode to avoid a lashing.  Those beads hurt when you don't catch them!  Every time I get hit, I am shocked like I've never been hit before. Weird. Of course, I rocked the pirate boots.  

Pirate Boots!

Gasparilla was a blast, and Tampa is a great city to visit, but straight talk here:  Tampa has the best DSW in the whole entire world right there on Dale Mabry just down from  the Buc's stadium.  For shoe enthusiasts, the DSW on Dale Mabry is Mecca, Nirvana, the Holiest of Holies....in a word:  Heaven. I know whereof I speak.  Whenever I travel to a new city, I always check to see if there is a DSW nearby and if there is, I visit it. Seriously.  

Saturday morning, after partaking of some healing breakfast fare at Denny's, we went straight to DSW.  We were there for less than an hour, but we made it count.  I love that store. Imagine a big space, the size of a ToysRUs with nothing but rows and rows of waist high shoe displays!  The clerks are friendly, helpful, and they actually know how to operate their registers.  They have also never heard of an expiration date.  

Julie and Kim's Take

As I was working my way up the second aisle, I turned to say something to Lisa and caught a glimpse of a shoe I had to have:  a pump with pointy toes and a low heel in a combination of animal print, tartan plaid, and patent leather.  Me and this shoe were Meant. To. Be.

It was like someone had made me my very own bespoke shoes.

Beverly Feldman Marigold Pumps

I nearly vaulted over the display case like OJ Simpson in the old Hertz Commercials until I remembered I'm only 5'5" and not terribly athletic or graceful.  So I settled for warning everyone else off.  I loved these shoes instantly!  Alas, it was not to be;  they didn't have my size.  The clerks at the store even checked to see if I could get them from any other DSW or from DSW online.  NO ONE has my size!                                                                          

Lisa and Beth's Haul                       

Our Combined Plunder from
 a 45 minute trip to DSW

In a cruel twist of fate, they did have Lisa's size.  And being my sister from another mother, you know she bought them and wore them Monday morning!  Ugh.  But I found a cool cross-body bag for my iPad and a pair of color block peeptoe platforms that make me almost six foot tall.    

This was only the luggage for three of us!
There's another DSW bag  next to the cart.

The Bellman called one of the managers (also a DSW shoe lover) when he brought our luggage down Sunday morning.  Apparently, this magnitude of DSW doesn't happen often.   Those guys were pros, they made it all fit;   however, Beth did have to hold her carryon in her lap on the way to the airport.

What a great weekend.  I can't wait until next year.

Cheers!

                                                        Julie

Vince Camuto peeptoe platforms.
They have a 1" platform and a 5.5" heel!

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Fuchsia Waleo platform pumps by Jessica Simpson. We take shoes seriously upstairs at I&S! #JessicaSimpson http://instagr.am/p/GydSEoMGgH/

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How do I find a probate attorney in Florida?

Someone you know has died and their estate must be probated. Or, you are unsure if there is anything you must do now that your spouse has died, so you begin the process of finding an attorney to advise you. How do you find an attorney who is best suited to assist you?

Probate is an area of practice that requires experience and knowledge in a combination of several areas of law such as real property, inheritance, intestate and testate succession laws, and elder law. In addition, a working knowledge and understanding of federal estate tax laws is a must for any decent probate practitioner. If your case will involve a dispute between beneficiaries or heirs, or a will contest, your chosen attorney should also be well versed in civil litigation.

The phone book is the last place you should look to find a probate attorney.   Ask your friends, your boss, or any other person whose opinion you value.  Call the clerk of the probate court at the county courthouse where you intend to file the probate. The clerk will usually give you a list of names of the attorneys the clerk sees day in, day out. Or, if your county’s court files are online, search the probate cases and look for frequently recurring names as the Petitioner’s attorney. Check the prospective attorney’s discipline record by performing a Member Search on the Florida Bar's website.

Next, schedule a consult appointment with your top choice. Usually, there is a minimal charge for a consult, and sometimes this is waived if you hire the attorney to do the probate.  Ask up front if you need to use a credit card to pay the consult fee because some offices only accept cash or checks.  Make sure to note your appointment time and date, and if you have a problem and need to reschedule, don't wait until the last second to do so, that is just rude and inconsiderate.

Abraham Lincoln practiced
law for over 25 years

Don't expect to speak to the attorney until your appointment time.  As Abe Lincoln said "A lawyer's time and advice are his stock in trade."  Expecting legal advice over the phone is unrealistic and unfair.  Look at it this way:  it is like going through the drive through and ordering a burger and fries, getting the food, and making an appointment to come back in a week to pay for it.  Who does that?  No one.

Honest Abe Rocking
the Doctor Who

And the lawyer does not owe you anything just because they are a lawyer.  Law school was not exactly fun, and most of us are still paying for it.  If you are calling an attorney that makes so much money he should be happy to give you free advice, what are you doing?  There are plenty of good attorneys in every town who charge reasonable fees for their services.  Why are you calling the most expensive one in town anyway?  If you are, then you can probably afford to pay!  Ah, the never ending paradox.

Once you make an appointment, try to make the most of it by coming prepared with as much information as possible.  Your attorney needs this information to determine the type of probate to file and when to file it, as well as a myriad of other decisions that influence the direction you and your attorney ultimately decide to take.


I think what most people want when they come to see me for a probate, more than anything else, is a sense of resolution, of purpose and direction.  A goal, if you will. The death of someone you know well enough to need to probate their estate is never pleasant, and the practical aftermath can be a confusing morass of legal jargon and paperwork.  Unfamiliar paperwork is never fun to deal with, even in the best of times. So arm yourself with information. This is my Checklist.

Make a list of questions. Go through all of the questions on your list with the attorney until you understand the answer to all of them. Most attorneys will “interview” you about the deceased's assets and liabilities, and testamentary documents (like a will or a trust) as a way to assess the type of probate required. This is why it is important to come to the consultation prepared; the more information you have with you, the better informed your attorney will be and an informed decision is rarely a bad thing.

Ask for a basic explanation of the process and what to expect along the way. Make sure you completely understand the attorney's fee structure, when and how the fee will be paid, and what expenses to expect and when/how those will be paid.

Pay attention to the office, the staff, and the general atmosphere if your appointment is in person. If you are doing business over the phone, the staff should already have prepared you for how the consult will be conducted. Either way, if the office is a mess, the staff is surly, or you just don't feel comfortable with the lawyer, pay the consult fee and keep looking.

Julie
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Copyright 2012 Julie Ann Sombathy All Rights Reserved