The Broken Places

In 1918, Ernest Hemingway briefly worked for the Red Cross on the Italian Front of WWI as an ambulance driver.  In 1929 his novel about a young American on the Italian front, A Farewell to Arms, was published. Hemingway’s writing style, perhaps more than any other American author of the early 20th Century, defined the ethos of his generation. He was a master of words, brief and long form. An urban legend exists that he wrote the saddest short story ever on a bet, comprised of exactly six words:  “For sale: baby shoes, never worn.” It is a matter of great debate whether or not this story is true, but the fact that Hemingway could say more with less is indisputable. 

A Farewell to Arms contains a single paragraph that in less than a page drops more truth about love, life, depression, death and the vagaries of fate than some authors manage in an entire novel. Nestled in that paragraph is a line I’ve been thinking about a lot since the hurricane: 

“The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places.” 

Panama City is broken.  The place we call home is in pieces. My neighbor said as much to me last night: “everything is broken.”  Every day I drive down Harrison Avenue and there’s a new empty lot where a building used to stand.  The psychological beat down one takes every day just going about their usual business is immense.  There’s no escaping the destruction.  It is everywhere. The landscape has changed. Lives are changed forever. Nothing will ever be the same.  That right there—the knowledge that there is a before and an after and no other option—that takes a piece of your heart. 

But being broken is not the end of things:  even bone is strongest at its broken point during the healing process.  Cracks let the light shine through. The Gospel of John says “The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it.”  Our broken pieces are just letting new light in; it is going to be different for sure but whether it is better is still up to us. 

We can let this adversity overcome us, or we can prevail and be strong at the broken places.   

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Downtown Panama City--Changed for Good

I've worked in downtown Panama City since I was 17, which for those keeping count is thirty-one years.  I worked downtown through the lean times when we struggled to find a coherent identity and through the prosperous times when everything seemed to finally be moving in the same direction.

Today I went to my office to keep working on the never ending list of things left to do before we can reopen for business.  It was wet and cold today. Everything seems more grim in that kind of weather.  It is already grim enough here right now, we could have done without it.

Shine enough light on anything and it looks better.

I stopped off at Vinny and Bay's Coffee and Eatery for a mocha and sat at the bar facing the street. From my seat I had a great view of Harrison Avenue north and south of 4th Street.  One of the things I love about downtown Panama City is the old and new storefronts:  there is such a perfect mix between the old from several eras and the new, that it gives our downtown a really special small town retro vibe.

That view up and down Harrison reminded me of better days when things weren't so roughed up.  I squinted my eyes and it all looked normal again.  Of course, it will be a while before we get there in reality. But we will.

Vinny and Bay's is an inspiring place, created by two friends to make a place for people with Special Needs to work and be proud of who they are.  On the wall is an art installation which reads "Changed for Good" a line from my favorite song in Wicked.  The lyrics of For Good play off the difference in meanings of the word good-- at once referencing forever and at the same time meaning better.

Elphaba and Glinda both sing "Who can say if I've been changed for the better" but that "I have been changed for good."

Downtown has definitely been changed.  Buildings are gone, some never to return. Nothing will ever be the same.  Change is inevitable, whether it comes all at once like it did for us or gradually. And it is surely for good.  We can't turn back time. Right now, it certainly does not feel like our town has been changed for the better.  But really, that remains to be seen.

It is up to the stakeholders--we who choose to operate our businesses and work downtown, the patrons of  those businesses, and those who choose to live downtown--it is up to us to make sure that this change that has been thrust upon us by Mother Nature is for good.



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